Advice Sexuality

Get Real! I Might Not Be Ready for What Other People Will Say if I Start Having Sex

Heather Corinna

Feeling interested in sex with a partner, but unsure and fearful about what other folks might think or say about it? Here's some help in figuring if you're up to that part of a sexual life.

Published in partnership with Scarleteen.

Aliciapash asks:

I truly think I’m ready for sex, I’m comfortable with myself and my partner and am not at all nervous for losing my virginity. I’m only 16 but people say that different people are ready at different times right? and I think I’m ready now, I’ve ticked off all of the checkpoints on your “am I ready” checklist but there is one problem. I’m worried about if people will judge me for it. My question is should I stop doing what I want out of fear of how others will see my action?

Heather Corinna replies:

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People do say that people are ready for sex—and not just the first time, either—at different times, different ages, and in different situations. And that’s absolutely right.

Whether we do or don’t want any kind of sex at any given time, with any given person, in any given situation, and also feel emotionally, physically, and practically ready for it is a very individual thing. That’s the case whether we’re talking about the very first time we do something sexual or the 501st. Some people certainly have the idea that whatever they think is right for them must be the only right choice or set of choices for everyone else, but no one who thinks that is correct or is probably really thinking about anyone but themselves. People are diverse, as are our sexualities: one size, or choice, most definitely does not fit all when it comes to human sexuality.

There’s ultimately no right answer to what you’re asking here; it’s just a matter of you figuring out how you feel about the opinions of others about your sexual choices, and how up to handling those opinions you feel right now.

There’s no choice you or anyone else can make here to avoid judgment from everyone. Some folks may judge you, or have negative opinions or feelings, if you do engage in sex. Others will if you don’t. Some people might get all judgypants if you have one kind of sex versus another, have sex at this age or that one, or engage in sex in one kind of relationship but not in another. Some people will have opinions, feelings, or judgments about your sexual choices they share with you or others, while others may have thoughts or feelings about your sexual choices they choose to keep to themselves.

I know how hard other people’s opinions about our sexual lives and choices can hit us sometimes and how vulnerable a person can feel when potentially facing that. I wish I could give people worried about judgments one specific choice they could make and feel good about where they were guaranteed no judgments from anyone, but people’s feelings and opinions about people’s sex lives are just much too varied, and some people lack the etiquette to keep their opinions about the sexual lives of others to themselves unless asked for them. There isn’t any one choice that can free us from the possible judgment of others.

That said, there are a few core things you can think about and talk about to sort this out.

1) Your right to privacy

Who does and doesn’t know about your sexual choices is mostly up to you. For the most part, you get to choose who you tell about your sexual life and who you don’t. If you aren’t literally having sex in front of people, or announcing sex you have engaged in to the world at large—or somewhere, like Facebook, where it can easily get to a bigger audience than you intended it to—the world at large will usually not know about it. You also have rights to privacy with things like sexual healthcare, so, for instance, if you ask your healthcare provider for birth control, or go to get STI screenings, they are typically required to keep that information confidential.

Obviously, the part of this where you don’t have control is with who someone you choose to tell chooses to then tell, or with who a sexual partner chooses to tell, and who they, in turn, choose to tell. You certainly could draft up a legal contract with your partner or anyone you tell requiring non-disclosure, but that’s a LOT more formal than most people, and probably you, tend to want to be with their sex lives. (Plus, your average person doesn’t usually have a notary handy at sexytimes.)

You can choose to only tell people about your sexual choices who are required by law (like health-care providers or counselors) to protect your privacy, or who you know you can trust to both be supportive of your choices and to keep what you share with them to themselves. Being selective in who you share information about your sexual life with, all by itself, offers you a lot of emotional insulation and protection when it comes to judgments. If you think someone you might tell isn’t someone you’re sure won’t blab about it to everyone, then don’t let that person have that information to spread around in the first place.

This also brings us to…

2) Your trust with your partner

Is your partner someone you trust to respect what you want and need around privacy? If you’ve gone through that checklist and come out all aces, it sounds like they are, but I figured I’d check.

You two can negotiate who you each want to tell about any sex you engage in or other parts of your sex life. You can make real agreements around that: it’s always okay to ask a sexual partner to be respectful about our privacy, and to keep information about our private sexual lives pretty private, sharing that information only, for example, with their doctor, parents, or a close friend. And it’s okay to veto someone a partner wants to tell who, for example, you know has gossiped to others about someone else’s sexual life in the past. If you two negotiate who you each want to tell with each other, do you feel you can trust this person to honor those agreements?

How about trust with your partner in terms of having your back in the case that anyone either of you tell, or who finds out, does make judgments you need some support with? If you’re not sure, that’s something else you can talk about together in advance, working out a plan for a unified front if you need one, and gathering some ideas about ways you can support each other well if and when you have to face any judgment.

3) Your community

The people who you or your partner would tell or think you might tell about your sexual choices: Who are these people? What are they like? Are they people you feel you can trust to be supportive of you, whether or not they agree with or approve of your choices? After all, we don’t have to agree with the sexual choices of a friend or someone in our family in order to be in their corner. We can have our own feelings and still choose not to be judgmental.

Who are the people you know have your back, who you can always call on or turn to for support when you need it? If you’re coming up blank with that, or your partner is the only person you can think of, then it might be that before you take this step, you need to identify some more of those folks. Dealing with judgments is a whole lot harder and scarier when we have to go it mostly or totally alone, and a whole lot easier and less scary when we have people in our lives who support us and our decisions and who can help us process and deal with the judgments of others.

Is there anyone in your community, be it your smaller community, like your friends and family, or your larger community, like your neighborhood or school, you’re really, really scared about with this? With the latter, like I said, you can usually control them even getting this information. However, with someone like a parent, sibling, or best friend, they either will often find out just because they’re close to you, or not telling them may be more uncomfortable than telling them. If you’re afraid of the judgment of someone like that, someone whose opinion you care about, and who you have a close relationship with, my best advice is to get in front of this, rather than having to deal with it from behind.

Talk to a person like that in advance of your choice if you can, voicing your worries about their judgments and seeing what you can do to work things out with them now instead of later, when you’ll probably be feeling a lot more vulnerable. That way, too, if you care about what they think—and you probably do—and value their opinion, you can also perhaps get feedback from them you might even find useful in making your own choices. You can also ask for their support even if they don’t agree with your choices, and they’ll often be more likely to give it because they felt heard and valued, and less likely to put judgment on you.

Of course, if any of your fears in this are fears of judgment that might or likely will result in anything like being kicked out of your house or physical, verbal, or emotional abuseif your safety is at risk—then that’s a very different situation. In that case, our advice is generally not to put yourself in danger in order to pursue sex: I just don’t think even great sex will tend to be worth that. Instead, I advise waiting until you can be in an environment where you don’t have to choose between your safety and your sex life.

4) Your own resilience

We don’t always feel emotionally able to deal with certain things well. Sometimes, we’ll feel like we can take on the whole world, and other times, we’ll feel like we might crumble at even the smallest thing going wrong, or the smallest slight. We might lock our keys into our house by accident one day and think trying to break into our own place is hilarious, while if it happens on another day, we might fall into such a huge, quivering, blubbering mass of tears we can’t even get up off the sidewalk to try and figure out what to do.

Only you can know how resilient you feel you might be about the judgments of others and how capable you feel now and in the near future of dealing with them. If you feel like you really can’t handle any judgments, or just don’t want to be open to being judged for choosing to engage in sex at all, then for now, the best choice is probably to hold off so you don’t even take that risk. On the other hand, if you do feel able to deal with those opinions—especially if you’re being very selective about who’s even told about this in the first place, have good support in place, and feel confident and strong about your own decisions—even if you would obviously rather everyone was 100 percent supportive, and engaging in sex is something you and your partner otherwise are feeling great about moving into, you probably will be able to get through it.

Sex is such a loaded thing for so many people. When we’re talking about sex and young people, it tends to get even more loaded. There’s a lot of bias against young people and their ability to capably make sexual decisions, including from people who are, themselves, young people. A lot of people also talk and communicate about sex and sexuality very poorly, which isn’t a shocker, since our world at large tends to lack those skills and enable crappy communication about it. So, we do all tend to have some resilience when it comes to people’s opinions in order to enjoy our sexual lives and to conduct them based on what we want and feel right about, based on what others want and feel is best. Sometimes we’ll feel able to do that. Sometimes we won’t. We obviously can’t look into a crystal ball and know for sure how people will react, so not only is there some guesswork involved about what people will say, there’s also guesswork involved about how we’ll feel if and when they do say something. The best we can do with this is be as realistic and real as possible in assessing ourselves and where we’re at, and how strong with it—and our own choices—we do or don’t feel.

It’s entirely possible I might have left you in the same place with my answer as you were in when you asked your question, where you just have to make a call on if this particular set of risks is one that seems worth it to you—if this set of risks does or doesn’t outweigh the potential benefits of choosing to have whatever sex it is you want to have.

If I did leave you in that exact same place, I’m sorry that I wasn’t of more help. However, if you really have already evaluated all of this, then all that really is left for you to do is to make a decision for yourself.

Certainly, if you find you feel really torn about this, or very uncertain, even after considering all of this some more, even with agreements you feel confident you’ll both honor around privacy and people around you you know you can count on to be supportive, then it might be that you’re not at this choice just yet. If you’re feeling really, really scared about this, I’d honor those feelings and not hurl yourself into something you just don’t think you can handle (or where even if judgment doesn’t happen, the fear of it is so big it makes what might otherwise be a great sexual experience into something you feel fearful about). In other words, it might be that the best choice for you to make right now is to put sex on hold until you do feel less conflicted about this issue, or less scared around it—until you have some more talks with your partner, or with friends or family, or just have some more time to gather any inner strength you think you might need to weather any judgment that could come your way.

I’m going to give you a few links below that might give you some extra help or food for thought around this. Hopefully, if what I’ve said here wasn’t what you needed to help you make your mind up around this, something in the links below might do the trick.

Whatever you choose, I hope you know that when it comes to our sexual choices, the only truly important feelings, thoughts, and values to consider are our own and those of whoever else is directly involved in those choices—whoever it is we are or might be engaging in sex with. If everyone in the world had positive opinions about sexual choices that you didn’t feel positive about at all, those would probably still be the wrong sexual choices for you. And if everyone else in the whole world had negative opinions about what you and yours felt were your best sexual choices—even though that would seriously never happen, with any sexual choices—that wouldn’t make what you two felt was the rightest thing for you the wrong thing.

It usually takes time for any of us to develop a sense of self-confidence about our own choices in life, be they sexual choices or any other kind. And the newer we are to making any given choices, the more insecure we’ll tend to be about them and the more vulnerable with the judgments of others about them we’ll tend to feel.

The very best we can usually do when we’re new to all of this is first make sure a sexual situation is generally emotionally safe for us overall. We can then also ask for the opinions and input of people we trust, whose opinions we value—people who know us well, and who we know have our best interest at heart—and then we just trust ourselves, which is something we can do when we’ve done whatever we can do to be very informed and consider our choices carefully, when we’ve done all we can to assure that our partners or potential partners have been clear and true about what they want, can handle, and can do, and when we have consulted our gut feelings to be sure we’re doing something that we really want and feel good about. It sounds like you’ve been thinking this through pretty carefully, so I’m not seeing anything that says to me that you can’t trust your own choices here.

Lastly, I want to make sure you also know that you’re not responsible for what other people think or why they think what they do about your sexual life. Your choices don’t create their opinions, after all; those belong to them and are about them. No sexual choice you or anyone else is going to make is going to be something everyone approves of, no matter what you do or don’t do. All you can do is what you know and feel is best and right for you and yours, act with integrity, own your own choices, stand by them, and ask the people that you know care about you and think well of you no matter what to do the same. And maybe, just in case you need it, practice flipping the bird with a finely-honed, leave-me-alone, up-yours glare.

Here are those links, sent along with my very best to you, and my confidence you’ll make your own right choices, whatever they are:

News Human Rights

Mothers in Family Detention Launch Hunger Strike: ‘We Will Get Out Alive or Dead’

Tina Vasquez

The hunger strikers at the Berks County Residential Center in Pennsylvania are responding to recent comments made by Department of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson in which he said the average length of stay in family detention is 20 days. The women say they've been in detention with their children between 270 and 365 days.

On Monday, 22 mothers detained inside Pennsylvania’s Berks County Residential Center, one of the two remaining family detention centers in the country, launched a hunger strike in response to recent comments made by Department of Homeland Security (DHS) secretary Jeh Johnson in which he said the average length of stay in family detention is 20 days.

The average length of stay for the 22 hunger strikers has been between 270 and 365 days, they say.

Erika Almiron, director of the immigrant rights organization Juntos and a core member of the Shut Down Berks Coalition, informed the women detained inside Berks of Johnson’s recent comment via email, hoping they would want to release a statement that her organization could help amplify. Instead, the women decided to launch a hunger strike, with recent reports indicating the number of participants has risen to 26.

“When Johnson said [ICE] only detain[s] people for 20 days, he said that thinking that no one would care,” Almiron told Rewire. “Our goal has always been to make people aware of the inhumane nature of detention in general, but also that children are being locked up and moms are being held indefinitely.”

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By definition, “family detention” means the women in Berks are detained alongside their children, who range in age from 2 to 16 years old. In an open letter addressed to Johnson, the women share that their children have routinely expressed suicidal thoughts as a direct result of being imprisoned. The women allege that they are being threatened by psychologists and doctors in the detention center for making this information public, but are choosing to move forward with the hunger strike.

In part, the letter reads:

The teenagers say being here, life makes no sense, that they would like to break the window to jump out and end this nightmare, and on many occasions they ask us if we have the courage to escape. Other kids grab their IDs and tighten them around their necks and say that they are going to kill themselves if they don’t get out of here. The youngest kids (2 years old) cry at night for not being able to express what they feel … We are desperate and we have decided that: we will get out alive or dead. If it is necessary to sacrifice our lives so that our children can have freedom: We will do it!

An August 2015 report about the Berks center by Human Rights First, a human rights advocacy organization, seemed to confirm what women and children detained inside of the facility have been saying since the detention center’s inception in 2001: Detention is no place for families and being imprisoned is detrimental to the health and well-being of children.

According to the Human Rights First report, detained parents in Berks experience depression, which only exacerbates the trauma they experienced in their countries of origin, and their children exhibit symptoms of depression, anxiety, and increased aggression. Frequent room checks that take place at 15-minute intervals each night also result in children experiencing insomnia, fear, and anxiety, the report says.

Families detained inside of Berks have no real means to alleviate these symptoms because the facility does not provide adequate mental health care, according to the report. Human Rights First notes that Berks does not have Spanish-speaking mental health providers, “though the majority of families sent to family detention in the United States are Spanish-speaking and many have suffered high rates of trauma, physical and sexual violence, and exploitation.”

The organization also explains that only 23 of the total staff at Berks (or less than 40 percent) reportedly speak some conversational Spanish, “making it difficult for many staff members to effectively communicate with children and their parents.”

Berks has a history of human rights abuses. A 41-year-old former counselor at Berks was recently sentenced to between six and 23 months of jail time for the repeated sexual assault of a 19-year-old asylum-seeking mother. The young woman, along with her 3-year-old son, fled sexual domestic violence in her native Honduras. The assaults on the young mother at the detention center were witnessed by at least one of the children detained with her.

There have also been health-care issues at Berks, including the failure by the detention center to provide adequate services, according to Human Rights First.

The organization was able to collect some of the letters women detained at Berks wrote to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), along with ICE’s response to their concerns. One woman, detained at Berks for four months, told ICE that her 5-year-old daughter had diarrhea for three weeks and that the detention center’s doctor failed to provide her child with any medication or other care. The woman asked for “adequate medication” for her daughter and for the opportunity to have her asylum case handled outside of detention. ICE’s response: “Thank you! You may disolve [sic] your case at any time and return to your country. Please use the medical department [at Berks] in reference to health related issues.”

Using family detention as a way to handle migrants, especially those fleeing violence in Central America, has been called inhumane by many, including activists, advocates, mental health specialists, and religious leaders. But the prolonged detainment of women and children at Berks is in violation of ICE’s own standards.

In June of 2015, Johnson announced a series of reforms, including measures aimed at reducing the length of family detention stays for families who had passed a protection screening. But then earlier this month, Johnson defended family detention, saying, “The department has added flexibility consistent with the terms of the [Flores] settlement agreement in times of influx. And we’ve been, by the standard of 1997, at an influx for some time now. And so what we’ve been doing is ensuring the average length of stay at these facilities is 20 days or less. And we’re meeting that standard.”

But all of the 22 mothers on hunger strike at Berks have been in detention for months, according to the letter they sent Johnson.

There’s also the issue that in July, a federal appeals court ordered DHS to end family detention because it violates Flores v. Johnson, which determined that children arriving to the United States with their mothers should not be held in unlicensed detention centers. Soon after, family detention centers scrambled to get licensed as child-care facilities (a battle they’re losing in Texas), but the Pennsylvania Department of Human Services (PA DHS) licensed Berks to operate as a children’s delinquency center. In October 2015, PA DHS decided not to renew the license, which would have expired February 21, 2016, because the facility holds asylum-seeking families as opposed to only children, as the license permitted. Berks appealed the decision to not renew its license, and continues to operate until it receives a ruling on that appeal.

“Our argument from the start has been that we don’t think any of this is legal,” Almiron told Rewire in a phone interview Friday afternoon. “What is happening inside of Berks is illegal. I have no idea how they continue to operate. Right now, Berks does not have a license. It was revoked because the license they did have didn’t fit what they were doing. They also have prolonged detention. Women who are hunger striking have been there 360-something days, but then Jeh Johnson says it’s only 20 days. There is no accountability with DHS or ICE. There are numerous ways [DHS and ICE are] not accountable, but Berks is a prime example. There is no transparency and they can to change the law whenever they like.”

Neither DHS nor Berks responded to requests for comment from Rewire.

Advocates have expressed concerns that the women in Berks will be retaliated against by ICE and detention center employees because of their participation in the hunger strike. As Rewire reported, when women at Texas’ T. Don Hutto Residential Center, a former family detention center, launched a hunger strike in November 2015, participants alleged that ICE used solitary confinement and transferred hunger strikers to different facilities, moving them further from their family in the area and their legal counsel. ICE denied a hunger strike was even taking place.

In December 2015, men detained at the Etowah County Detention Center in Gadsden, Alabama, ended a 14-day hunger strike after a local judge authorized officials to force-feed one of the hunger strikers because of his “deteriorating health” due to dehydration. Advocates told Rewire force-feeding was being used as a form of retaliation.

Almiron said the hunger strikers at Berks have already been threatened by guards, who told the women that if they continue to hunger strike and they get too weak, their children will be taken away from them. The organizer said the letter the women wrote to Johnson shows their bravery, and their understanding that they are willing to take whatever risk necessary to help their children.

“Honestly, I think they’ve been retaliated against the moment they came to this country. The fact that they’re in detention is retaliation against their human survival,” Almiron said. “Retaliation happens in detention centers all the time, women are threatened with deportation for asking for medical care for their children. These women are incredibly strong. In my eyes, they’re heroes and they’re committed to this fight to end family detention, and so are we.”

Commentary Sexual Health

Don’t Forget the Boys: Pregnancy and STI Prevention Efforts Must Include Young Men Too

Martha Kempner

Though boys and young men are often an afterthought in discussions about reproductive and sexual health, two recent studies make the case that they are in need of such knowledge and that it may predict when and how they will parent.

It’s easy to understand why so many programs and resources to prevent teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) focus on cisgender young women: They are the ones who tend to get pregnant.

But we cannot forget that young boys and men also feel the consequences of early parenthood or an STI.

I was recently reminded of the need to include boys in sexual education (and our tendency not to) by two recent studies, both published in the Journal of Adolescent Health. The first examined young men’s knowledge about emergency contraception. The second study found that early fatherhood as well as nonresident fatherhood (fathers who do not live with their children) can be predicted by asking about attitudes toward pregnancy, contraception, and risky sexual behavior. Taken together, the new research sends a powerful message about the cost of missed opportunities to educate boys.

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The first study was conducted at an adolescent medicine clinic in Aurora, Colorado. Young men ages 13 to 24 who visited the clinic between August and October 2014 were given a computerized survey about their sexual behavior, their attitudes toward pregnancy, and their knowledge of contraception. Most of the young men who took the survey (75 percent) had already been sexually active, and 84 percent felt it was important to prevent pregnancy. About two-thirds reported having spoken to a health-care provider about birth control other than condoms, and about three-quarters of sexually active respondents said they had spoken to their partner about birth control as well.

Yet, only 42 percent said that they knew anything about emergency contraception (EC), the only method of birth control that can be taken after intercourse. Though not meant to serve as long-term method of contraception, it can be very effective at preventing pregnancy if taken within five days of unprotected sex. Advance knowledge of EC can help ensure that young people understand the importance of using the method as soon as possible and know where to find it.

Still, the researchers were positive about the results. Study co-author Dr. Paritosh Kaul, an associate professor of pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, told Kaiser Health News that he was “pleasantly surprised” by the proportion of boys and young men who had heard about EC: “That’s two-fifths of the boys, and … we don’t talk to boys about emergency contraception that often. The boys are listening, and health-care providers need to talk to the boys.”

Even though I tend to be a glass half-empty kind of person, I like Dr. Kaul’s optimistic take on the study results. If health-care providers are broadly neglecting to talk to young men about EC, yet about 40 percent of the young men in this first study knew about it anyway, imagine how many might know if we made a concerted effort.

The study itself was too small to be generalizable (only 93 young men participated), but it had some other interesting findings. Young men who knew about EC were more likely to have discussed contraception with both their health-care providers and their partners. While this may be an indication of where they learned about EC in the first place, it also suggests that conversations about one aspect of sexual health can spur additional ones. This can only serve to make young people (both young men and their partners) better informed and better prepared.

Which brings us to our next study, in which researchers found that better-informed young men were less likely to become teen or nonresident fathers.

For this study, the research team wanted to determine whether young men’s knowledge and attitudes about sexual health during adolescence could predict their future role as a father. To do so, they used data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (known as Add Health), which followed a nationally representative sample of young people for more than 20 years from adolescence into adulthood.

The researchers looked at data from 10,253 young men who had completed surveys about risky sexual behavior, attitudes toward pregnancy, and birth control self-efficacy in the first waves of Add Health, which began in 1994. The surveys asked young men to respond to statements such as: “If you had sexual intercourse, your friends would respect you more;” “It wouldn’t be all that bad if you got someone pregnant at this time in your life;” and “Using birth control interferes with sexual enjoyment.”

Researchers then looked at 2008 and 2009 data to see if these young men had become fathers, at what age this had occurred, and whether they were living with their children. Finally, they analyzed the data to determine if young men’s attitudes and beliefs during adolescence could have predicted their fatherhood status later in life.

After controlling for demographic variables, they found that young men who were less concerned about having risky sex during adolescence were 30 percent more likely to become nonresident fathers. Similarly, young men who felt it wouldn’t be so bad if they got a young woman pregnant had a 20 percent greater chance of becoming a nonresident father. In contrast, those young men who better understood how birth control works and how effective it can be were 28 percent less likely to become a nonresident father.9:45]

Though not all nonresident fathers’ children are the result of unplanned pregnancies, the risky sexual behavior scale has the most obvious connection to fatherhood in general—if you’re not averse to sexual risk, you may be more likely to cause an unintended pregnancy.

The other two findings, however, suggest that this risk doesn’t start with behavior. It starts with the attitudes and knowledge that shape that behavior. For example, the results of the birth control self-efficacy scale suggest that young people who think they are capable of preventing pregnancy with contraception are ultimately less likely to be involved in an unintended pregnancy.

This seems like good news to me. It shows that young men are primed for interventions such as a formal sexuality education program or, as the previous study suggested, talks with a health-care provider.

Such programs and discussion are much needed; comprehensive sexual education, when it’s available at all, often focuses on pregnancy and STI prevention for young women, who are frequently seen as bearing the burden of risky teen sexual behavior. To be fair, teen pregnancy prevention programs have always suffered for inadequate funding, not to mention decades of political battles that sent much of this funding to ineffective abstinence-only-until-marriage programs. Researchers and organizations have been forced to limit their scope, which means that very few evidence-based pregnancy prevention interventions have been developed specifically for young men.

Acknowledging this deficit, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Office of Adolescent Health have recently begun funding organizations to design or research interventions for young men ages 15 to 24. They supported three five-year projects, including a Texas program that will help young men in juvenile justice facilities reflect on how gender norms influence intimate relationships, gender-based violence, substance abuse, STIs, and teen pregnancy.

The availability of this funding and the programs it is supporting are a great start. I hope this funding will solidify interest in targeting young men for prevention and provide insight into how best to do so—because we really can’t afford to forget about the boys.


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