Commentary Contraception

The Christian Medical Association Says: No Plan B for You, Harlot!

Lorraine Berry

Christian Medical Association says that Ralph's Thriftway Pharmacy is within its rights to refuse to stock Plan B contraception. I'm sorry. Why are you in the pharmacy business again?

Christ. They’re at it again.

Pharmacists in Washington State have gone to court to affirm their right to make moral judgments about clients and deny Plan B contraception. 

It’s not like I haven’t discussed this before

In a way, I don’t want to write about this one more time. I just want to end the way I did last time: get the fuck out of my uterus.

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But, that isn’t going to work. 

Stormans v. Selecky is on its way to the Ninth District Court of Appeals, which means, yep, it’s on its way to the Supreme Court. Regardless of who wins the case, it’ll be appealed. 

At issue is this. The pharmacists and Ralph’s Thriftway pharmacy have decided that Plan B contraception is really an abortifacient. Even though scientific evidence does not support their contention. It is possible that it prevents a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine wall, but you are not pregnant unless and until said egg implants.  It’s also equally true that it may prevent a woman from ovulating. Plan B, or the Morning After Pill (despite “The Walking Dead’s” STUPID confusion of it with RU-486) is NOT the abortion pill. 

It’s the pill that stands between a rapist impregnating his victim. Or a woman whose method of birth control failed (condoms break, diaphragms come out) from having to get an abortion should she end up with an unwanted pregnancy. 

But really, this is besides the point. 

I’m sorry. You’re a pharmacist. 

You are not the moral arbiter of who gets to take what drug. 

I mean, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins: is it against Christian ethics for a pharmacist to fill a prescription for Type II diabetes drugs for a morbidly obese person?

And why does a 75-year old man need Viagra? He shouldn’t be making babies at his age anyway. And, according to certain Christian precepts, you should not be having sex unless you’re planning to make babies.

So, why is it that the only thing that the Christian Medical Association objects to is Plan B? 

Could it be because they have problems with women having sex? 

Nah. That couldn’t be it. I’m sure they celebrate sexual women.

Damn. I want to write something profound, make the point that they should recognize their hypocrisy and get on with their jobs. 

But they’re not listening. 

What was that I said before?

Get the fuck out of my uterus. 

Yep. That’s it. 

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