Benefits to Women of “Egg-As-Person” Laws? Hmmmm…We Didn’t Think Of That!

Jodi Jacobson

Courtesy of our friends in the feminist blogger/journalist communities in Colorado and throughout the U.S., here are some potential benefits and some additional negative implications of recognizing zygotes, or fertilized eggs, as persons.

It seems that in our concern about the negative implications of "egg-as-person" laws for women–you know, loss of autonomy for the woman as a person, loss of access to contraception, abortion and any medical intervention that might save her life but adversely affect her fertilized egg, loss of legal rights to do anything that might *potentially* adversely affect a fertilized egg because she might *potentially* be pregnant at any moment between the years of 11 and 55–we have overlooked some potential benefits.

Courtesy of our friends in the feminist blogger/journalist communities in Colorado and throughout the U.S., here are some potential benefits and some additional negative implications of recognizing zygotes, or fertilized eggs, as persons.

Women could:

  • Drive in the high-occupancy or carpool lane at all times
  • Get a federal dependent tax deduction from the moment of fertilization

  • Demand to be served two-for-one meal restaurant specials

  • Collect Social Security and Medicare nine months early

  • Blame the "egg" for any misdeed or crimes; cop only to being an unwilling accessory

  • Sue their egg(s) for pain and suffering

 

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On the other hand, there are some as-yet unconsidered implications for those zygotes and their "hosts."

  • Eggs could appear as aggrieved parties on "Judge Judy."
  • The possibility of carrying a fertilized egg could leave women subject to being charged for two seats by an airline (for her and her "egg") (but no extra peanuts!).
  • Ultrasounds could be subject to invasion of privacy complaints by eggs.
  • The "truth truck" could be sued for defamation of character.
  • A fertilized egg could sue for wrongful imprisonment in a womb.
  • Age discrimination law age ranges would need to be rolled back 9 months.

 

It’s all those unintended consequences….

Feel free to add your own.

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